THE MANIFESTO OF MADRIDISMO MILITANTE
WELCOME fellow comrades of the newly formed Real Madrid Social Club. Before we begin we must warn you, this is no ordinary social club, and (we hope) this is no ordinary blog. This blog will not be a mere list of grievances or cheap insults hurled against this, our archrival, FC Barcelona (or el “Farsa“). This blog is a celebration of our team, the greatest futbol team of all time, El Real Madrid Club de Futbol. This blog will, however, attack with brutal and dripping sarcasm the relentless propaganda campaign inflicted on us by circle-jerk pipero “sportswriters”, “announcers” and annoying bandwagon culerdos that have created this tyranny of boring, possession ping-pong futbol being sold to us as the ne plus ultra of the so-called “beautiful game” – the tyranny of tiki taka / la tirania del imperio tiki taka. !Basta ya!
Militant madridismo is a brotherhood, a fraternity, and a battle cry. A brotherhood to those who firmly believe that the greatest futbol army in the world resides not in the the overly politicized lands of the Camp Nou, but within the manicured fields of Concha Espina, led by the greatest futbol field marshal to ever direct los gloriosos merengues into battle. El gran Mourinho, the Special One, who pulled off the single greatest move in Madridismo since the reign of el gran senor Bernabeu – getting rid of the parasite douchebag and darling of the pipero hordes, Jorge Valdano.
El puto amo has restored pride into the hearts of a madridismo sick and tired of (relative) mediocrity, of paying high and selling low for players of high reputation but little results, of losing to teams like Alcorcon in Copa and getting dropped in the Second Round of La Champions year after year like second-rate Turkish league muppets. El Madrid does not represent the f–in Turkish League, it represents LA LIGA. !Joder! Our team is Real Madrid, and we defend the shield, el escudo, a capo y espada to the motherf–in’ end.
We are sick and tired of having to listen to la propanganda farsista of “our style of futbol is the only style to play” as if any other philosophy of futbol is heresy. F–k that. Militant madridismo implies a love of swashbuckling, aggressive, attacking futbol run at what seems like warp speed. It is futbol laced with crushing speed, and even harder tackles, a futbol that demands desgaste brutal, gaping runs up las bandas only to finish with a brutal flourish, a goal shot hit with such fury that it threatens to decapitate the goalie, and usually scored by none other than the true greatest futbolero of our age, not that fraud Messi, but el fuera de serie – the total package- CR7.
Those of us who follow militant madridismo are a fraternity because through our brotherhood we will become an organization, an organization with duties to be fulfilled by all of our members. We will not only demand excellence from our team, but we also impose on ourselves a duty to strip the world of the farsista double talk, a duty to rally around with our pitchforks and torches to point out that what was done to us in the previous season was an injustice and clearly immoral, a duty to, under any circumstances, refuse the cries of bandwagoning culerdos and point out their hypocrisy when given the opportunity.
This manifesto is our battle cry against la Farsa, our call to arms and a demonstration of our beliefs. Within our battle cry we realize that our brotherhood must become a force, one with whom to be reckoned with, we must find strength in numbers, we must rise together as one. We must scream and chant !HALA MADRID! for the team we hold dear to our hearts, the team we bleed (figuratively of course) for!
Militant madridistas of the world unite ! Los merengues are calling and La Reconquista of Supercopa, Liga and Champions begins August 14, will you be ready? !HALA MADRID!
/s/
von Doom, el Maestro, and el Malcriado
REAL MADRID SOCIAL CLUB
REAL MADRID SOCIAL CLUB 