Real Madrid 6 – Dinamo Zagreb 2 : Champions League Matchday 5 – Sahin finally gets his first start..and not much else..

by von Doom

In yet another genius move by UEFA (aka el Platinato or alternatively UEFArsa) the once great Champions League pool stages have been sufficiently declawed by Platini’s slavish whoring out of the world’s premier club competition out to the almighty TV dollar  that one can safely say that the Champions League no longer starts in July, but rather starts in February once the knock-out rounds begin.

aka el Platinato… or… We. Are. Whores.

The TV executives, it seems, cannot run the risk of having the forces of probability create a Group (or Groups) of Death and run the risk of knocking out one of the big football cash cows in order to have a Shakthar Donetsk (or hell even a Deportivo La Coruna) make a deep run into the tournament.  Screw the fans!  Screw interesting football games that mean something in the pool stages !  To that end, UEFA has accomodated its TV overlords by tweaking the pool competition to the point that it is all but assured that the grand majority (if not all) of the G-14 teams will comprise the final sixteen, year in year out.

(Note:  G-14:  Real Madrid, Farsa, Liverpool, Man Utd., Juve, AC Milan, Inter,  Olympique Marseille, PSG, Bayern Munich, B. Dortmund, Ajax, PSV, FC Porto)

That leaves us with lopsided beatdowns like the one we witnessed this afternoon at the Bernabeu, and a Group Stage phase that looks like a tramite  lacking any real drama, that clogs up the calendar. Consider that Real Madrid up to this point has yet to concede a goal in Champions League play, outscoring their opponents 10-0 before today’s game. Ex-Madridista Davor Suker’s  Dinamo Zagreb was so thoroughly outclassed by Real Madrid this afternoon that this could scarcely be called a football match.. it looked more like a “foosball” game played between a master and a drunk college student.

The only real note of importance for this match were the tactical tweaks Mou displayed to the fans at the Bernabeu and, of course, the lopsided score line. Of course, of particular note was the debut of Nuri Sahin as a starter. Mou started the game with a lineup that one could call a “Real Madrid A2”  running a 4-4-2 doble pivote.

This is how deep Real Madrid is – 3 of their best on the bench – and they still went Beastmode Vikingo berserker on those croatas

Adan (GK)

Lass – Varane – Ramos – Coentrao

Xabi  – Sahin

                                                               Callejon                                Ozil

Benze-crack    El Pipita

I don’t think the Dinamo Zagreb match really showed us whether this Xabi – Sahin doble pivote could work as the defending was so poor on Zagreb’s part and Sahin played tentatively, partly because he hasn’t played all that much competitive football in the past 5 months, but on the plus side he did not lose many balls. I hope Mou gives it another go in a Liga match, perhaps, where it will receive a much sterner test.

Oh yeah, the match.. so anyway.. here are the boring details… 3 goals in the first eight minutes. (Benze-CRACK  2′ ,  Callejon 6′ and Pipita Higuain 8′)  Game. Set. Match.

BENZE-CRACK ! Starts the party…

Callejon, inspired by Mou’s “Caballito” in the Valencia game, responds in kind for the 2-0

A 4th in the twentieth minute by Ozil and then the they shut it down into cruise control mode.

Ozil !!! This kid is so CULT. He will go down as one of Real Madrid’s most beloved players….now if only he would keep up with his Spanish lessons..

Even with the lackadaisical pace, el Madrid forgave another three clear goals in the 28th, 32nd, and 37th minutes respectively.

The second half offered up more of the same – Mou did a triple switch and took out Xabi, Ozil, and Ramos and brought in  Granero, Altintop, and Albiol, respectively. Different players, same result.  Callejon got his second of the game to make it 5-0 in the 49th…

Callejon gets his second of the night.. I think I liked the high spikes better…

and Benzema followed suit for his second of the night in the 66th to make it 6-0.

..man love… so touching.

Not much else to say.. a goal by Beciraj in the 81st to salvage some Croatian pride, and Benzema doing his best Pele in “Escape to Victory” impression in the 83rd, unfortunately he shot it wide over el larguero... however, for you young ones look at the video below and check it out..  All in all, if Benze-CRACK was taking this game seriously, instead of as the glorified scrimmage match it became, he could have scored 6 or 7 goals.

..all in a day’s work for this stone-cold gangsta….

A garbage time goal in the 90th by Tomecak off an utter Madrid defensive FAIL made the score 6-2 to massage what could have been a 12-0 beating if Madrid hadn’t shut it down after the 20th minute.  Strangely enough, I do not think Mourinho will be totally pleased with this performance. I do think he will rip on his players for allowing 2 goals, largely to their own lack of intensity and disinterest in the game at hand, to a Zagreb team that had no business being on the pitch this night.

In any case, this is more encouraging stuff from los merengues who run their winning streak to 12 games in all competitions and now turn their attentions to the Madrid derbi against el Patetico on Saturday and look to be on a run of epic form heading into their showdown with el Farsa on December 10th.

To those of you reading this in the States,  have a Happy Thanksgiving and we’ll catch you soon!

!HALA MADRID!